Day 2.........

I actually made it all the way through the first day of my new ww diet. I journaled everything I put in my mouth and I am so proud. It is really sad that a big victory for me is that I actually stayed "on" plan for one whole freaking day on a diet. BUT, that is the low that I had sunk to. I had gotten so out of control that I couldn't even make it through one freaking day without eating half of my kitchen.

I have TONS of room for improvement. First of all, I need to reacquaint myself with this thing called a vegetable. I have heard about it and I suspect that I own some because my children eat them, but I need to identify and eat. Of course I will not be perfect overnight.... or ever.

Now for the truly shocking revelation..... I worked out on my elliptical machine yesterday for 20 minutes. Holy Moly.

Now to survive the play date. Hopefully I can just say no and go on about my day. I refuse to turn down opportunities to make friends and socialize because I am either too embarrassed about how I look or because I am afraid I will be surrounded by tempting foods.

It makes me sad to admit this, but actually staying on program for one whole day has given me confidence. I was so lacking in confidence that I didn't even think I could make it through one day. I have endured so many hard times in my life. I have accomplished amazing things, but my weight is the one thing that I failed at and the one thing that made every accomplishment moot. Instead of assessing my value as a child of God or as a person with love and accomplishments I have put all of my value on my failure to lose weight, or on my fatness. It's pathetic, because I would never assess another person based on weight.